Dark velvet, gold accents, contemporary art on every wall. The Thief doesn't look like a Norwegian hotel. It looks like a nightclub that happens to have beds. The lobby is moody, the hallways are dim, and the whole place leans hard into a kind of international rockstar aesthetic. Your room key gets you free entry to the Astrup Fearnley Museum next door, which is a nice touch since the hotel's own collection of 102 works already makes it feel like you're sleeping in a gallery.
The beds are excellent, topped with Røros Tweed wool blankets and proper down duvets. Turndown service comes with tea and a brownie, which is a small thing that Scandinavian hotels almost never bother with. The Geneva sound systems in the rooms are a welcome upgrade from the usual Bluetooth speaker. The hotel is not new, some furniture is starting to show scuffs and wear, which feels wrong when you're paying top-tier rates.
Standard rooms are around 24 square metres, small but a decent size for Oslo. Ask for a higher floor facing the fjord, because lower rooms facing the canal get foot traffic on the boardwalk right outside your window.
Tjuvholmen is beautiful but remote by Oslo standards. The walk to Oslo Central Station takes a solid 20 to 30 minutes. No tram nearby. The closest bus stop is at Vika Atrium, and the nearest train station, Nationaltheateret, where the Airport trains stop, is a 15 minute walk away. Grab a taxi if you're arriving with bags.
The spa has a pool, hamam, and sauna, but access costs around 295 NOK unless you've booked a spa treatment. At this price point, that stings. For a more authentic sauna on the water experience, check out KOK Aker Brygge 5 minutes away.
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